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with words, for
it sways me to the deepest trench
to the steepest ascent
of the multidimensional beauty of life and love and reality
If someone would ask me right now..
“How was your Spiritual life going?”
I would certainly feel disgusted with myself.
Its been a while since I realized that something great is missing in my life and that is God, I put him aside..
Along wih other people who helped me to grow with Him
I put him under the pressure of my academic requirements,
I put him under every thing i can find as an excuse..
Bad doyi, I put him under a certain person, who comes to be unexpectedly ruled my life.
Not only once that i waked up in the morning with a corrupted mind, to many things come in a rush trying to eat up the thoughts that i need to pray before getting up on bed.
Nights are quite, as ever before.. Conversations are left unfinished before i noticed ive been dreaming…
I have been shaken by all the challenges, Ruined by the storms. Embellished by the thought that I still go to church during sundays. I am no longer living as a christian. I am not worthy to be called one.
I am as filthy as before. I cursed, I’m gossiping around, I’ve been imagining somethings I am not used to before.
I am damaged.
I do not blame anybody for this cause.
I am responsible for any of my act, on hold of every word coming out of my mouth.
I cannot defend my faith, its terrible as it may seem, but i really find myself not worthy to be accepted by God.
And again, for the nth time,
Reformat my heart, Give me again a new heart that is open to hear your word,
ur daughter as fired up as before..
Give me a new heart that is willing and open to understand the reality of this world.
I love you God!!