As I was reading my previous journals..
I was reminded of How God rose me up from each grave I am in..
Again I received a sudden jerk from my Master and reminded that I am indeed His Princess and No one would ever hurt me, as long as I am with Him.
If I could only See all things to His perspective.
Nothing in this world is absolutely impossible. As I put everything in my hands to His.
Lately fear keeps on recurring into my system and doubt suddenly comes with disobedience.
But then God who is always in control, is the one making a way for me to come back.
I volunteered to man the booth during the Victory weekend on QC. That was refreshing, I felt again the sudden rush of the Holy Spirit and how He moved me to see Visions like rain and lightnings..
Amazing though, that was a sunny Saturday morning but the rain and lightning i have seen from that vision was indeed the situation I am in, in the afternoon.
God was inevitably Magestic !! Can shame all for His Glory.
For indeed He, at the end of the day still sits on the thrown of each of his children’s life.
and I am very thankful for that, For if he doesnt care about me.
I would have been lost for a long time…
I would have been died for all the sins I have incurred.
I would have not influenced another great woman’s life, or another friends life.
I bask in your Glory God!!!
If someone would ask me right now..
“How was your Spiritual life going?”
I would certainly feel disgusted with myself.
Its been a while since I realized that something great is missing in my life and that is God, I put him aside..
Along wih other people who helped me to grow with Him
I put him under the pressure of my academic requirements,
I put him under every thing i can find as an excuse..
Bad doyi, I put him under a certain person, who comes to be unexpectedly ruled my life.
Not only once that i waked up in the morning with a corrupted mind, to many things come in a rush trying to eat up the thoughts that i need to pray before getting up on bed.
Nights are quite, as ever before.. Conversations are left unfinished before i noticed ive been dreaming…
I have been shaken by all the challenges, Ruined by the storms. Embellished by the thought that I still go to church during sundays. I am no longer living as a christian. I am not worthy to be called one.
I am as filthy as before. I cursed, I’m gossiping around, I’ve been imagining somethings I am not used to before.
I am damaged.
I do not blame anybody for this cause.
I am responsible for any of my act, on hold of every word coming out of my mouth.
I cannot defend my faith, its terrible as it may seem, but i really find myself not worthy to be accepted by God.
And again, for the nth time,
Reformat my heart, Give me again a new heart that is open to hear your word,
ur daughter as fired up as before..
Give me a new heart that is willing and open to understand the reality of this world.
I love you God!!
When everything seems to die down..
Keep your eyes Focused. Guard your heart, Live every moment with joy.